Someone once said that a boat owner’s two best days are the day he buys the boat and the day he sells it. For my brother Jim, accompanied by my son and me, those were almost the same day. Putting the Titanic in the water was easier. Heck, raising the Titanic would have been easier than surviving that first day with my brother’s new bass boat. I had a better time when a bumblebee stung me inside my mouth.
Then the race began to place our lines in the water. Normally we couldn’t catch anything without using depth charges, but the competition was still fierce. We scurried about, making the small rowboat pitch and roll. Family togetherness doesn’t exist when the first catch of the day is at stake. But eight-year-olds have the patience of sharks in a blood bank, so I tried to get Jason’s pole in the water first. The traditional red-and-white bobbers weren’t good enough for him. He liked bobbers made to resemble miniature soda cans and other forms of garbage.
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He was convulsed with laughter. “Cut the line,” he managed to squeak out. I dug through my tackle boxes and found a knife that was dull, really dull. But I severed the line.
My nap also provided memories of the time we rented two rowboats, one for my son and me, one for Jim and my nephew Don. A gentle breeze had promptly untied my professional sailor’s knot and freed our baby blue beach umbrella.
Suddenly a huge wave smacked into our boat. Maybe it was the “catch of the year.” We jumped up, ready for action. I untangled my line from the propeller, Jim scarfed down a long john, and Jason gleefully reeled in his garbage, hoping our boat would capsize so he could go home and play video games.
He wanted a 17-foot bass boat with four seats, a 90-horsepower engine, a trolling motor, live wells, a steering wheel, and cool colors. He eventually found what he wanted, and our spirits soared. We looked forward to entering the boating elite. No more rented engines with less power than a Weedwacker. No more siestas lying across a rowboat. We would nap in real boat chairs.
We then headed for his insurance agent’s office.
