[Re: “Their Own Worst Enemies?,” June 25]
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To wit, that one gay politico may attempt to run against an elected straight friend of the community; that said gay politico has no support; that the elected straight friend of the community brokered an important deal on behalf of the community, using gambling as a bargaining chip; that the brokered deal was brokered not by the straight friend of the community but by a gay elected official who is also a friend of the gay politico and supports the gay politico’s run; that neither the gay elected official nor the straight friend of the community brokered the deal but, instead, did the bidding of the Righteous Feudal-nation for Illinois Humans; that said gay elected official suffers from various forms of dementia brought on by HIV or Hyper-Garcia-ma; that the Feudal-nation leadership (Prince Richard the Wrong and King Arthur of Alcohol) are actively spreading rumor and innuendo about the health and mental status of Sir Larry the Likable; that Prince Richard and King Arthur support the gay politico privately; that Prince Richard and King Arthur do not support the gay politico privately; that Prince and King will, in any case, withhold support for Sir Larry’s election, or actively oppose it; that the gay rights bill has been doomed by Sir Larry; doomed by Sir Larry at the urging of Prince Richard; doomed by Prince Richard at the hand of Powerful Pate; doomed by all parties at the hands of all involved; and, that no one in the community, neither publisher, politico, politician, nor person(s), can overcome their fear of Prince Richard and King Arthur, smite them generally, or stop the feast of their own making, in which they and all of us are currently eating our own.
What an awful and terrible commotion, so onerous and so vociferous, that those on both coasts can’t hear themselves think for the din and constant ruckus arising from the nation’s heartland.
My proposal unifies our community at the table of our own making, will strike fear in the hearts of our enemies, give us sustenance for the great fight, and keep us focused on future endeavors.
Surely the press coverage alone could lure Richard the Wrong from pulpit to pot, and his legacy would then be secured as the man most responsible for bringing us together when, in fact, He and the Master whom He serves have been most responsible for tearing us apart. And future historical tomes could trumpet: Garcia the Gastronomical! Leader of few! Tyrant of many! Meal of the masses! Finally, Prince Richard could actually take credit for an action and outcome that would be of his own making, not someone else’s. That alone would make the feast a historic event.
Thomas Swift
