Do you look like your mother? Your daughter? Your father? Harry Potter? Who do you like in the sixth at Hawthorne? Who wants to know? The Chicago Sun-Times, that’s who.
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The Sun-Times was curious this year. It didn’t ask hard questions, like why is the sky blue? where do babies come from? how much does a man have to take? Its queries were both more and less personal than that. Here are five things the Sun-Times wanted its readers to tell it about–in 300 words or less. And five more things it wasn’t inquisitive about but could have been. Can you tell which is which? (One hint: The fakes are based on actual stories that ran in the paper. All the Sun-Times had to do was ask.)
August 25, 2000: A new study says that the German reputation for humorlessness is due to language, not attitude. Are you German? What’s the matter? Why do you look so sad? Warum schauen Sie so traurig? Oh, that’s why.
September 28, 2000: In Paris, gangs use attack monkeys to intimidate their victims. Paris is a fashion leader–should we ban monkeys, just in case? The French? Would you be intimidated by a monkey? Hell no, right?
