I’m a 28-year-old woman. My husband is 30. We’ve been married four years and dated three years before getting married. We have a three-year-old child. Sexually, I’m of the “I’ll try anything once” school. We’ve experimented a lot over the last seven years, trying bondage, role-playing, gender-bending play, water sports, and so many positions I’ve lost count. When he said he liked seeing two women together because he liked to imagine he was one of them, I suggested bringing another woman into the picture. I was also pretty curious about making love with a woman.
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Willingness to experiment is one thing, but I don’t want to explain the change to our families, friends, and coworkers. And I’m not crazy about our daughter seeing him that way. I’ve suggested easing into it by buying fake breasts he can wear to see how they feel. He says he wants the real thing. I just can’t see sleeping with a guy who has breasts! When I told him I didn’t think I could live with him if he had the surgery, he replied that he could never leave our daughter and me, but I don’t want him to be miserable with us.
Do you have any suggestions for compromises we could both live with? Please help, if you can. –Desperate
Here’s a helpful hint: Folks who blather on about the evils of booze and cigs and dope are widely regarded as zero fun to hang out with even by other people who don’t drink or do drugs. If all you have to offer someone is your unaltered status, and that’s all you ask in return, well, women aren’t going to be lining up around the block to eat your pussy. By putting no drinking/smoking/drugs demands front and center in your personal ads, you may be scaring off hordes of unaltered lesbians who don’t consider being unaltered the most important, interesting, or attractive thing about themselves.
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