On our way home from dinner with friends, my wife and I enjoy talking about who among our friends we could imagine having sex with. These conversations get especially interesting when the woman I could imagine having sex with is married to the man my wife could imagine having sex with. Naturally, this raises the question of a swap.
“In my experience, it is not a wise idea, and rarely successful, to try to introduce one’s dinner companions to swinging unless you’re sure that couple is interested or already involved in swing activities,” Robert said when I shared your letter with him. “Good friends are hard to find, so why risk mucking up a friendship by making an advance? Also, if the other couple is shocked, they may tell others of your advance, affecting other friendships. Far better to go to a swing club, one that is couple oriented, and make new friends who are already into swinging.”
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Robert would give that advice, wouldn’t he? As the head of a trade association for swing clubs, it’s Robert’s job to direct horny married couples to NASCA’s paying members and discourage freelance swinging. But conflicts of interest aside, I have to say I agree with Robert. When it comes to major kinks–and swinging is major–it’s best to meet like-minded pervs through like-minded perv organizations or at like-minded perv bars or parties. At NASCA’s obligatory Web site (www.nasca.com) you’ll find listings for swing clubs all over the world. “Look up clubs in the state you live in,” Robert suggested, “and call the clubs that sound interesting.” I went on-line and found eight clubs where you live, JC.
In addition to his many duties at NASCA, Robert also runs the Lifestyles Organization, whose 26th annual convention will be held in Reno, Nevada, this weekend–where everyone will be stone-cold sober, no doubt. “There’ll be four dances,” Robert told me, “and seminars on sexuality, relationships, growth, and medical issues–and a lot of socializing.” But no drinking, of course. You can get more info about the convention by visiting, you guessed it, Lifestyles Organization’s obligatory Web site: www.lifestyles.org.
Have you heard of a gay sex practice called “decanting”? As it was told to me, one man catheterizes himself to empty his bladder and then refills his bladder with wine to serve to guests at a very posh gay club. Is this real? While not universally appealing, urine is sterile and the bladder is a very clean place. Is a glass filled with urine from the penis, or does it go directly into the mouth? Any light you could shed on this would be great. –Curious
