Hey, Faggot:
How the hell should I know? The exact percentage of men who like hairy women, women who have big clits, guys who like to be spanked, people who’ve fucked their mothers, the risk involved with various sex acts–even if I could produce these stats (which I guess I could put my research assistant on if he weren’t busy with more important things, like doing my laundry), what good would it do you? What does it matter if 2 percent or 80 percent of men prefer hairy women? It’s what you like that matters, and as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody, that’s all you need to know.
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Not even Pam Winter, publisher of Hair to Stay, a magazine devoted to hairy women, could come up with a percentage. “If I took a poll of every person in the entire world, maybe I could give you an idea,” she said. “But even if I did that, a lot of men won’t admit they like hairy women for fear of being told something’s wrong with them, or being called latent homos. Guys who like hairy women are made to feel like freaks, so a lot of guys who do won’t admit it.”
Send it to her along with a hammer and a note telling her she can keep the fucking statue or smash it to pieces, and end the note with this: “Whatever you decide to do, stick the hammer up your ass when you’re done.” Then forget about her. You’re an artist! (Well, you might be: I haven’t actually seen your stuff. You could suck.) You don’t have to ask anyone’s permission before you make anything. You have the absolute right to take in stimuli–in this case, her–and pump out art.
“My boyfriend would rather masturbate than have sex. He masturbates four or five times a day, and at night he says he’s ‘too tired’ for sex, and just rolls over. But then as soon as he thinks I’ve fallen asleep he starts masturbating. This is starting to disgust me and make me think there’s something wrong with him, me, or both of us. Maybe I don’t turn him on, maybe he’s too lazy to have sex, maybe he’s gay? Please help.”
