I am a 43-year-old female who has always identified as bisexual. I’ve enjoyed plenty of healthy uninhibited sex in my time as well as good relationships on both sides of the fence. I recently met a woman who is 110 percent wonderful, and she seems to feel the same about me. The problem? I am coming to the realization that I prefer men for sex and women for relationships. At the same time I believe strongly in monogamy, and if I make a commitment with this woman I want to honor it.
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Some words of wisdom: Avoid making commitments you can’t keep, especially monogamous commitments to wonderful people. If it’s primarily men who turn you on, THIWBTFIW, then setting up house with a woman–even a 110 percent wonderful woman–isn’t the wisest or fairest of moves. As someone who’s had plenty of uninhibited sex, you are doubtless aware that sexual passion is a highly addictive drug: after you’ve shot up a few times, it can be hard to go without. If you make a monogamous committment to this woman, someone who by simple fact-of-gender won’t ever fill you with passion, sooner or later some good-looking guy is going to come along, light your fuse, and blow up your relationship.
What to do? Considering your feelings about men (wanna fuck) and women (wanna relate), I would challenge you to question your strong belief in monogamy. A woman who prefers sex with partners of one gender and relationships with the other isn’t someone who should be running around making monogamous commitments to anyone of either gender. Monogamy is nice, but it sho’ is overrated–so much so that people who would be happier in nonmonogamous relationships (or committed three- or four-way relationships) frequently make ill-advised monogamous commitments. It’s a trap: we’re told that good people are monogamous; we all wanna be good people, so we all wanna be monogamous. But you know what? It’s possible to be a good person (and a fair to middlin’ president) without being monogamous.
I think you missed the real reason you aren’t getting letters from mom screwers, dog fuckers, and poo eaters anymore. In the early 90s, hard-core pervs were loosely organized. Even in large cities it was hard for them to get together, so they were driven to write to sex columnists for advice, referrals, and assurance that there were more pervs like them out there. With the Internet, lonely pervs don’t have to lie up at night wondering if they’re the only one of their kind–instead they just log on to www.bestiality.com, www.lovingmother. net, or www.dogscrewers.org. So what’s left for you? Letters from people with belly-button fetishes. Boring! –Perv Perspective
Around 50 percent of the population have candida thriving in their mouths and are none the wiser. Candida becomes a problem mainly in immune-compromised individuals, hence the problems with candida among those infected with HIV. So it is quite possible that the woman in question isn’t as healthy as she could be, her partners have candida thriving in their mouths, and she got a yeast infection as a result of getting oral sex from them.
