I am an 18-year-old college student. It’s been said that college is the time in your life when you can get the most ass in your life. My question: Where’s mine?!?! I’m not some 300-pound Dungeons & Dragons-playing dork; I’m your average six-foot-two, 135-pound recovering drug addict. There was an article about me in the school paper and my struggle to get clean and how much of a better person I am because of it, but no dates came as a result.
Ahem. Listen, king dork, nowhere is it written that you have to weigh 300 pounds and play Dungeons & Dragons to be a dork. Indeed, there are probably fat boys with good social skills and positive attitudes about women–even fat boys who play D&D–all over your campus gettin’ more ass than you ever will. Certainly more ass than you’ll ever deserve.
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Look, with that dick and your bod you’re never going to attract guys into lumberjacks and hockey players. And even if you did find a lumberjack lover who’d sleep with you, the prospects for anything long-term would be pretty grim. How would you feel going to bed every night with a man who didn’t find you at all physically attractive? It’s far better to have a boyfriend into what you got (tiny dick, boyish bod) than a boyfriend longing for what you don’t got (massive cock, beefy bod).
