Your answer to Wanna Get Off Before We’re Legal, those two young girls who want to get their hands on vibrators, was inadequate. Why didn’t you advise them to order something out of a catalog? The Good Vibrations catalog has everything they’re looking for. Surely they can’t card over the phone. –Mail Order Fan
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Other than committing fraud, what does Good Vibrations recommend youngsters in need of vibrators do? “If this young woman has a comfortable enough relationship with an older person,” Queen said, “she could ask that person to do the shopping. We have women come in and buy vibrators with their daughters all the time. It’s really kind of moving and sweet. I mean, our mothers didn’t buy us vibrators!”
Shame on you, Dan Savage! How could you have overlooked the Hitachi Magic Wand in your response to Wanna Get Off Before We’re Legal? Hitachi makes a “household personal massager” that’s legendary among women. In the housewife underground these “personal massagers” are known as secret vibrators. They’re totally legit and legal for any 15-year-old to buy. WGOBWL just need to trek on down to their local Wal-Mart and pick out one they like. –Jennifer M.
Yes, DD, it pays to be careful, and it never hurts to remind people that it’s a dangerous world. So, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages: you really oughta be using protection with sex partners whose STD history and reproductive intentions you aren’t certain about. I could remind people of this in every column, week in, week out, but you know what, DD? Constant reminders would bore smart people who do use protection (when called for) and wouldn’t change the behavior of dumb people who don’t.
–Big Eater
