Hey, Faggot:
You were a virgin coming into this relationship, and from the sound of things, you’re not going to be much worse for wear coming out. Pardon me for being blunt, but you’re not in love with this guy, and he’s definitely not in love with you. In the past 14 months, you two may have become quite close, and developed a sort of friendly bond that in your inexperience and naivete you mistake for love, but you are not in love with him. So if you’re not in love, what’s going on? You–inexperienced, and a virgin–fell in love with the idea of being in love. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, briefly dated a much younger man who fell wildly in love with him. He made some promises early on that he now regrets, and he sees no way to extract himself from this relationship short of breaking your heart, which he can’t bring himself to do. So he withdraws, cuts you off sexually, and waits for you to end it. It’s either that or he suffers from sexual hang-ups of enormous proportions, in which case you need out regardless. I’m reading a lot into the very few details you’ve provided, but your tale o’ woe is not unique. I’ve seen it again and again, and I’ve done it myself: young gay men rush into a commitment too early in a relationship, a commitment they’re not mature enough to make. Why? Well, I think it’s so much overcompensation. The world tells us that gay desire is immoral, and that gay love is anything but love (or is only so much butt love). To prove to ourselves–and the Pat Buchanans, Pat Robertsons, and Cardinal Ratzingers–that the world is wrong, that we can love, that what we feel is real, we latch on to the first guy who looks at us funny, declare him the love of our lives, and make big plans for a future together. We move in right away, and talk about “getting married” at 23.
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Please, no lectures about hustling. I’m college-educated and professionally employed. I do it for the sex and the rush I get from being a sex object and getting paid for it. I plan to quit my regular job to hustle full-time this summer, and have a few sex questions. One client likes to give me an enema, then lie in the tub while I release it all over him. How often can I do this without risk of injury? And is there any way to increase the frequency of my ejaculations? I can come twice a day, occasionally three times.
Send questions to Savage Love, Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611.
