Hey, Everybody:
I’m beginning to get a complex. I wonder what I’m doing wrong. I wonder if they would be more satisfied if they had been with someone better endowed. During intercourse, I feel myself becoming discouraged: I think that she will never enjoy this as much as I do, and sometimes these thoughts have caused me to go soft in the middle of the act. Please tell me what to do. –Brooklyn
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Your desire not to be “one of those guys women complain about all the time” is commendable, but would be more so if you’d bothered to educate yourself about women’s bodies and women’s orgasms before you started fucking women. News flash: Most women are unable to “have an orgasm via intercourse alone.” Why is this? Because the business end of her clitoris, which plays as central a role in her sexual pleasure as the head of the cock plays in yours, is located outside and above the vagina, not inside it. Are you with me? The clitoris is not a joy buzzer resting at the top of the vaginal canal. It doesn’t matter how hard your dick is, how big your dick is, or how far in her you manage to get it (OK, those things do matter, but for the sake of this argument, they don’t)–the clit’s the thing!
Here’s what some of our subjects had to say (listen up, boys): “It seems like the better educated guys are about sex, the less likely they are to think it’s odd that I need other forms of stimulation in order to come. Whenever I’m with some young band boy, I’ve got to explain it to him.” “Men who can’t find my clit, or don’t know what to do with it when I point it out, don’t get invited back for seconds.” “It’s possible for me [to come from fucking], but it takes longer and it’s less likely. Both at once–all sorts of stimulation at once–is the best way.” “Direct clitoral stimulation, that’s what I need. Sometimes I’d rather do that–or have that done to me–than fuck.”
You fear the girlfriend “will never enjoy [intercourse] as much as I do,” and that fear sometimes causes you to go soft. Well, fear not: she’ll enjoy fucking as much as you do if you simply remember to pay attention to her clit while you’re fucking her. If your arms aren’t broken or bound, play with her clit while you bang away; encourage her to play with herself when you’re fucking; try different positions to see if perhaps another angle might provide more direct stimulation to her clit, and then let her control the speed and pace of the grind; get her off with your mouth or your hand before you fuck; buy some “clit grapes” at a sex-toy store–the possibilities are endless. Listen to your partner’s physical and verbal cues, make her pleasure a priority, and you won’t be one of those men women complain about all the time. Good luck.
