My ex-boyfriend was the first man to give me a real orgasm, and he did it with his tongue. He was extremely unselfish and would stay down there for as long as it took me to get off. We broke up three years ago, and in that time I have had four lovers, all of whom have refused to put in the needed effort. I actually mustered up the courage to tell the last guy I was with that I hadn’t come, and he said, “Well, I’ll fuck ya again in a minute.” I tried to explain that his dick inside me wasn’t what I had in mind and he got all pissy! What response do you think I would get if I demanded oral sex to orgasm before intercourse? How do I put it tactfully that I want my cookie too, dammit?!
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Your need for oral sex is not some sort of character failing, so don’t present it to the men you sleep with like it’s an issue or even a problem. You require oral sex to get off, you have every right to expect any man you get off to get you off, so tell the men you get off with what’s required of them straight out. While men’s orgasms are relatively simple and obvious, women’s orgasms are complicated and subtle. Straight guys depend on women to tell them what they need; men can’t read minds. Some can’t read period. If women don’t tell men what they need, or if women mislead men by faking orgasms, then men can’t come through for you. That the last man you slept with reacted badly when you told him what you needed only proves that he was an asshole, not that you were wrong to tell him.
Ninety percent of guys will be so turned on you won’t be able to peel their tongues off your clit. The ten percent of guys that won’t be turned on, well, they aren’t guys you wanna be sleeping with anyway.
I met a girl in an Internet chat room, we met in person, and now we’ve been dating for a month. The problem is her job. She is gone during the week and I only see her on the weekends. I want her with me more. The price I pay for our relationship is depression five days a week, followed by two days of bliss. How can I handle this situation?
Thanks for helping out, PS. Hopefully my skater-boy-obsessed reader will see your letter and get her hands on some legal skater tush. Speaking of skater tush, I recently wandered into Stratosphere Skateboards in Atlanta, where I saw many fine examples of it. I asked the boys if they had any advice for a woman into skater boys, and they suggested that she hang out in or, better yet, get a part-time job in a skateboard shop. Horny folks in Atlanta who wanna meet skater boys should head to Stratosphere on Euclid Avenue. Tell ’em Dan sent ya.
