Hey, Faggot:
Your surgical options are pretty limited. Provided you live in a state where the procedure is not illegal, you could have your suspensory ligament snipped (the ligament that anchors your penis to your pelvic bone). An inch of your penile root will drop, giving you the appearance of a slightly larger penis. But when erect, your penis will flop around like a dislocated arm. Another option: you can have fat sucked from one part of your body–say, from between your ears–and injected into the shaft of your penis. But it looks awful, doesn’t make the head of your cock any bigger, and can result in a buildup of scar tissue that could make it impossible for you to have an erection ever again.
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But you can dream, DLVD, you can dream. And until the day your dream comes true, compensate for your little dick by becoming the world’s greatest pussy eater.
Hey, MP:
Wow, I tried it! What fun! Please keep me posted about any other hilarious examples of naughty spell-check suggestions! Man, I can’t stop laughing! Sex! Ha!
