Hey, Faggot:
Before I give you a reasonable answer, Lieutenant John Cerrone, commanding officer of Philadelphia’s citywide vice enforcement unit, is gonna give you a scolding. Is paying a masseuse to give a hand/blow job illegal in Philly? “Yes, it most certainly is,” said Lieutenant Cerrone. How often do massage parlors get busted? “Well, I can’t give that information. But prostitution is an illegal act. It comes under our authority, and this man should know that we enforce the laws against illegal prostitution regardless of where it occurs.” So, VIP, if you decide to come under the authority of a masseuse, you place yourself at risk of coming under the authority of Philadelphia’s citywide vice enforcement unit.
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But how likely is it that you’d get busted? “Quite truthfully,” said Lieutenant Cerrone, “when it comes to this sort of thing, we have our priorities, as we do with anything. We respond to complaints, and since street prostitution generates more complaints [than massage parlors], a large part of our efforts are geared toward open, public street prostitution. Street prostitution is the most invasive sort of prostitution, the most apparent and troubling to the average citizen; no one wants to witness sex acts or have their children witness sex acts. And it therefore tends to be our highest priority.”
–Exodus
Love you, love your column, hate your uncharacteristically inhumane response to the teacher in love with his high school student. I’m a product of just such a union: mom was the young English teacher, dad the student body president and captain of the football and track teams. The age difference was seven years (not quite Mary Kay LeTourneau, but the same as the teacher who wrote you). They did have the good sense to wait until after graduation, though. They conceived two kids (I’m the second) before my mother sent my father away. She wanted him to marry a more “socially approved” partner, and he did: a well-to-do professional a year older than my mother.
Send questions to Savage Love, Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611.
