Hey, Faggot:
Hey, GSB:
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On your behalf, I called the Safeway nearest your return address, which I’m assuming is the Safeway nearest your home, and shared your letter with the manager, Mark. Do Safeway checkers get asked out all the time? “Well, it happens,” said Mark, “but we discourage it.” Why? “For obvious reasons–stalking and all of that stuff.” Does Mark, a 17-year Safeway veteran, know checkers who’ve been stalked? “I’ve been at stores where it happened, where a guy was harassing one of the cashiers. It was awful.” So, if you promise not to stalk–if she says no, you’ll be polite and go away–would it be all right for you to ask this checker out for coffee? “No, it wouldn’t be all right.” But what about her seeming interest in you–the smiling, the eye contact? “He needs to understand that she’s just doing her job. She’s trained to make eye contact and smile. Checkers are paid to do that–she’s not flirting, she’s working.”
Why are you so mean to the people who write in to you? Every week I read your column and literally want to throw up! You think you know every goddamned thing, but you don’t. Why don’t you be courteous to the people who write you, and then maybe, just maybe, the world will except [sic] our kind.
A few weeks ago, I came across Savage Love. It was hard for me to believe this type of material is offered to the general public or that a person could read this stuff in good conscience. I know the lifestyle you choose is just that, a choice. God gives us this choice. I have chosen to place my trust in Christ. I am a 22-year-old student, studying to be a preacher at a Baptist Bible college. I base my beliefs on the Bible, and the Bible tells me to love everyone. That is why I am writing you. Not to condemn you and your lifestyle, but because I’m concerned about you.
Tears streamed down my face as I read. I fell to my knees and, on the most meaningful Thanksgiving Day of my adult life, I gave thanks from a place deep within my soul. Thanks that, as I am an adult now, I no longer have to listen to idiots like you; thanks that I live in a secular society, where I am free to accept or reject the Xtian bible and its goofy strictures; and finally, thanks that not all Xtians regard my lifestyle as an abomination, but instead turn their attentions to the things that X himself regarded as abominations–poverty, hunger, homelessness, hatred. Then I went home and shared your letter with my boyfriend. We laughed, and then retired to our bedroom, where I gave myself to him as best I know how–we made glorious, life-affirming, VOID-filling homo love. And when we were done, I picked up your letter and wiped my dick with it. Happy holidays.
