From the pages of Guinea Pig Zero, A Journal for Human Research Subjects ¥ Number 5 (PO Box 42531, Philadelphia, PA 19101; $3)
Last fall, while trying to figure out how I was going to scrape together the money to fly to England for my brother’s wedding, I stumbled upon an ad in the Daily Pennsylvanian for sleep studies at the University of Pennsylvania. They needed healthy non-smokers for 3-day to 3-week studies on sleep deprivation, and I needed cash, so I made the call and made my leap into the exciting world of human guinea pigging.
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Many people I’ve talked with since the study have had the same reaction: “I could never do that–I’d go crazy!” Well, if the truth be told, I did go crazy–absolutely friggin’ nuts. I kept extensive notes on the things going on, and upon rereading them I was amazed by how obviously my mental capacities were crumbling. I couldn’t complete thoughts. Forget about spelling and grammar: I couldn’t even make sense! At one point I actually fell asleep while writing and continued writing in my sleep! From what I’ve been able to decipher, it looks like I wrote “…but then cows Kelly clown,” though that has no obvious meaning to me. Some of my other notes included:
“Holy moose dick, am I tired!”
You’ll be happy to know that I made more than enough dough to fly to my brother’s wedding in the UK, and it was lovely.
